Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category
May
03
Posted under
Uncategorized by Sarah
The Saturday May 1 edition of the Toronto Star included a very interesting article by Petti Fong called “A refuge for unwanted infants”. The article reports that a Vancouver hospital is taking after a centuries-old tradition of churches having a “foundling wheel” where mothers could leave their unwanted babies, then ring a bell notifying someone that the baby was there before running away.
In Canada, it is illegal to “abandon a child in circumstances where the baby’s life is likely to be in danger”, but the problem of mothers abandoning their children continues to be a problem. Some (many?) women are either unable to or neglect to use contraception and/or do not resort to abortion, and thus find themselves with an unwanted pregnancy. What, then, do they do?
While adoption is an option, it is a complicated one that some women don’t feel able to pursue. It seems to me that leaving a child at a hospital is a great last resort! The mother is given 30 seconds to place the child in the hatch and get away before an alarm alerts staff of the situation. Brilliant! If a baby is at a hospital, its life isn’t in danger, thus its mother hasn’t committed an illegal act. The mother has freed herself from a burden she feels she cannot handle, yet the baby does not physically suffer.
I agree with the Vancouver police that “anything that helps to save a child’s life is a good thing”!
Nov
30
Posted under
Uncategorized by Sarah
Casting their nets wider, the Renaissance thinkers concluded that the ancients had given worthwhile responses to many of the same issues as Christians and that they should not be dismissed simply because they were non-Christian.*
For a course I’m taking called Comparative Literature - From Homer to Picasso: Western Culture Across the Ages, I’m currently reading about the period in history known as the Renaissance. My textbook is dry reading, but when I apply my brain, with the help of some note-taking, music, coffee, and candles, I do usually learn something.
It just occurred to me, while reading a section titled “Thought and Philosophy” of the Early Renaissance, that I am in the Renaissance period of my life.
As most of my readers know, I was raised in a conservative Christian home, which later became less conservative, but never quite liberal, and definitely not secular. As foundational as it is to have solid moral values, I feel that I missed out on the chance to understand the moral code that I was expected to follow, or its importance. I was ignorant of the alternative, other than a sort of sense of fear of what was other than our lifestyle.
“The world” was generally condemned as inherently and uniformly evil, because it wouldn’t fit inside the doors of the church. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to the ignorant like I was, there were many dark, seeping cracks in the would-be fortress walls, letting in all varieties of secret sin and evil, that were in reality the uglier for their secret nature.
I couldn’t help believing that there must be a better way of establishing and reinforcing a moral code than with fear and secrecy. So much was this opinion reinforced through almost every interaction with the institution called church that I had to leave it! And so began my personal renaissance.
Renaissance: rebirth, revival
None of this is new to those who have followed this site for a few years, but I guess when I came across the passage I quoted above, I realized that this thing I’m doing with my life is not a new concept, but rather an ancient one. I’m finding that people have questioned philosophy and religion and humanity since the beginning of time, and I believe that it is only through doubting and asking and searching that truth can hit home.
Also, I wonder if there can ever be a universal belief system, or if we all must go through our own periods of renaissance and learn to love and respect and accept each other despite our differences. Certainly I was not taught that in the church, though “love your neighbour” was a much-repeated motto.
I am finding that the world is teaching me some valuable lessons that I didn’t have the capacity to learn while in the Christian bubble of my former life, though I am eternally grateful for the moral foundation it gave me. Now to continue sifting through all of the fragments of beliefs and ideas to see which are necessary and which aren’t. For me, that is.
And I continue to cast my nets wider!
*Matthews, Roy T., and F. Dewitt Platt. The Western Humanities. 6th ed. New York: McGraw-Hill, 2008.
Nov
25
Posted under
Uncategorized by Sarah
A Transparent Life caught up with Sarah today, and begged and pleaded with her to pretty please give our readers an update about the impressive Mystery Man she told us about five weeks ago. Here’s how our chat went:
ATL: Wow, Sarah, we hardly see you these days! Life must be keeping you busy!
Sarah: Busy enough that we had to do this interview at 12:30 AM, so, yeah!
ATL: Thanks for taking the time!
Sarah: You know me–for a good story, anytime!
ATL: So. We know that there are lots of things happening in your life; between starting university this fall while supporting yourself at the same time; not to mention performing with your very talented band, Fourth Avenue; life is packed. But there’s one particular scoop we’re all hoping for: what’s going on with the mystery guy you went out with last month? Is there anything going on, I guess I should ask, first of all?
Sarah: (laughs) Yes, yes, there IS something going on!
ATL: Oooh, that’s exciting! So you’ve gone out again since then, I assume.
Sarah: Hmm. Yes. Definitely yes. (smiles)
ATL: (laughs) Such certainty! So you’ve gone out one more time? More than once?
Sarah: More than once. In fact, a definite several times, ATL.
ATL: Not once, not twice, but several, eh?
Sarah: It’s true: there are witnesses.
ATL: I’m not going to ask where you’ve gone with this guy, but have you done some fun stuff?
Sarah: If movies and dinner and stargazing and Cirque du Soleil count, then yeah, it’s been fun stuff!
ATL: Wow! Very fun!
Sarah: I know, right? We have no lack of ideas of fun things to do.
ATL: So it’s “we” then, is it?
Sarah: Very clever, ATL. Is your boss reading this? You should get a raise! But, your journalistic prowess won’t work on me. Not today, anyway.
ATL: Thanks for the professional nod, Sarah, but apparently you’ve underestimated me if you think A Transparent Life is gonna let you get off with kissing up and dodging the question! I’ve got my readers to think about, after all, and they are nothing short of nosy, even sometimes downright clamorous for story details. I can’t call this a scoop if there’s nothing juicy about it, now, can I?
Sarah: (laughs) I will agree that the more juicy the story, the better, but I’m honestly not quite ready to hop into the cider press for the public just yet.
ATL: That’s it, then? That’s all you’ve got?
Sarah: Okay, fine, I’ll give you something. One little tidbit.
ATL: Bated breath, Sarah. Bated breath!
Sarah: Here it is, the tidbit: things are going really well!
ATL: Break it down for us. On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being very unlikely to continue to go well, and 10 being highly likely to continue to go well, where does your “really well” fall?
Sarah: Man, you don’t give an inch, do you? On that scale, I’d say my “really well” would appear at…. Hmm. Nope, I just can’t do it. But I will say that I’m really happy with the way things are going, and that I don’t see any reason why I’d be unhappy.
ATL: How about his name? Will you make me beg for that, too?
Sarah: All in due time, ATL, all in due time. I told him I was doing this interview, though, and he said that there was a detail I left off of the original post, which isn’t technically true because I didn’t know this about him until I got to meet her a few days later, but he has a sweet blue 1969 Chevrolet Corvair (that’s a car, ladies), that he fixed up and made shine.
ATL: Um…. alrighty then! Not exactly the juice we were wishing for, but cool! We’ll take it! If–! If you promise me another interview when you feel like making cider. (laughs) Are you up for it?
Sarah: Definitely yes, ATL. With certainty.
Nov
16
Posted under
Uncategorized by Sarah
- A vacuum cleaner. Unless, perhaps, it’s a Dyson. We don’t know their lasting power yet.
- Linens. Towels and sheets were never meant to make the journey from parents to children to grandchildren! Feel free to use them for your pets or to wipe off a wet bike seat or when you colour your hair.
- A toaster. Unless they it was brand-new soon before you acquired it, in my experience it’s just kind of weird knowing some else’s bread was cooked there.
- Freezer contents. Again, unless you’re positive those venison steaks are from this season, resist the urge to take them home!
- Beauty products. I don’t care if it IS an almost-new stick of Speed Stick - that’s just GROSS!
- Audiovisual technology. That VCR? It can stay with the previous generation, it’s okay.
- Plastic containers. As in Tupperware and Rubbermaid, etc. Plastic just isn’t what we once thought it was, and gets right nasty in its old age!
- Anything with a Dollarama sticker on the bottom of it! Haha!
- Half-filled crossword puzzles.
- MDF furniture that already has something broken (guilty!)
Add your own in the comments region…
Jul
13
Posted under
Uncategorized by Sarah
(I wrote this to read at Mark’s memorial. I didn’t make it through without crying. I doubt many people did.)
I’ve always been fiercely protective of my siblings, and with Mark it was no exception. When Mark was very little, I would hover near Mark’s side every time someone outside our family was with him, to make sure they treated him right. I remember even holding a grudge for a while against an unsuspecting physiotherapist who made him cry. How dare she?!
Sometime over the years, however, Mark’s family grew far beyond me or us, to incorporate many of you here today, from nurses to casual respite workers to program directors, physiotherapists to full-time caregivers to doctors, and many more besides.
All of us will recall Mark’s ability to suddenly break out laughing for no apparent reason and to soon have everyone around him joining in. That infectious laugh broke the tension at many a silly dinner table argument. He was the only one among us that could laugh at our pettiness without getting smacked for it!
When Mark joined our family as the youngest of six kids, I was old enough to remember the excitement when he was born, then the fear as, two days later, it became obvious that something wasn’t quite right. Mark’s birth brought a lot of changes to our family, and I remember that it took me a few years before I could look at Mark and just see him, rather than the running and the jumping and the talking he wasn’t doing! But at some point, I learned to accept that Mark was simply different.
Mom wrote an article called “Back to School” when Mark was about 2 years old, describing part of the steep learning curve she found herself on as Mark’s mother. She writes:
“Two years ago I went back to school. However, I had no choice as to the course I would take. It was chosen for me. The registration was automatic; a package deal attached to the birth of a special needs child. There is no course outline, no syllabus. Sometimes I wonder what will be required of me before I reach graduation but I know my professor has His reasons for doing it this way.”
We all know she did more than graduate – she got her Master’s! She often employed what she called her “irate mother routine” to go from ignorant to expert. She procured every conceivable dollar and service she could for Mark’s care, in the end providing an inspirational example for other special-needs parents.
Together with a small army of caregivers, most of whom are here today, Mom made sure Mark’s every need was met, and he in turn blessed them for it with a smile or a laugh or a story as only Mark could tell one, often accompanied by the music of whichever toy was currently his favourite.
Over the span of his almost eighteen years of life, the uninitiated would commonly express sympathy to us upon hearing about Mark’s disability. I replied that it wasn’t something to be sorry about, that Mark was a bright spot for my family. Mark was just Mark!
Mom’s reply would have been a bit more specific. She would have said: Mark is a good and perfect gift from above.
It is our joy and privilege to know that they are now together above, rejoicing!
Some friends, after hearing about Mark’s death this week, said a very insightful thing to me that I think sums up what we’re feeling, and I’d like to close with this thought:
We’re so sad for us, ‘cause we’ll miss you, but we’re so happy for you, Mark!
Jan
13
Posted under
Uncategorized by Sarah
Dear Mom,
I can hardly believe it’s been an entire year since I saw you last! True, so much has happened over the last 365 days, but they have sped by in a blur, it seems.
Shortly after your funeral, we went through everything in your house (a daunting task), decided what to keep, what to toss, what to give away, and eventually, within a few weeks, cleaned it all out. Saying good-bye to the last place I saw you alive was tough, especially since I did it alone one snowy afternoon.
I finally got my chance to nest, though finding myself so alone in the prospect made it a bittersweet experience. I am grateful to have inherited much of your household, including furniture, linens, plants, dishes, and even cleaning supplies - thanks!
Thanks to being the co-executor of your estate, I’ve learned a lot more about finances and “the system”. I’ve also assumed your role as Mark’s spokesperson, and I feel fully capable of doing “The Irate Sister” routine if I need to. He will hopefully finally have a home sometime this year, thanks to your tireless work, and the help of some other gems I don’t have to mention.
I’ve done lots of singing, with the help of the Noted! project and Cactus Jam, and now I have prospects with a new band, Fourth Avenue. Singing is definitely one of the things I was meant to do, as I’m sure you knew.
I’m also now the Dining Room Manager at the pub and the owner jokes (?) about selling it to me someday. Hmm.
Another thing that causes me to shake my head is the fact that I’ve been in the HC now for two and a half years! Me! Remember when I said I didn’t think I’d live in Canada ever again? Here I am eating my words. And as much as I think I’d enjoy living in a city where people are more style- and culture-conscious and it’s cool to be 27 and single, I am also enjoying getting to know my home county in a different way, and I’m not hoping to leave anytime soon.
Holidays are weird without you, Mom, though I have to say I enjoy having the option of using my own kitchen, my own house, to entertain my family. This Christmas, I couldn’t bear the thought that we might not have new books, so I used money that has been returned to you from taxes, etc. to buy new books for everyone. I was sure you wouldn’t mind. 
Most recently, I did something you likely wouldn’t approve of, and, ironically, I did it in your memory! I got a tattoo on my left forearm:
I wanted to be able to see it every day, to see your initials, to remember your wisdom. I love that it’s got my handwriting and yours - it’s a precious possession, and I wear it with pride.
I have to end this letter, Mama, because three of my siblings, a very pregnant sister-in-law, and three neices and I are meeting for dinner tonight to remember you. We’re hoping to find at least a little bit of open water, whether on the lake or the river, to toss some fresh flowers in your memory, just as we did on the day of your funeral.
First, though, I want to share two poems I’ve been thinking a lot about today. First, in sadness for the days gone by and in recognition of the many times tears have sprung upon me suddenly:
Tears, Idle Tears
Tears, idle tears, I know not what they mean,
Tears from the depth of some divine despair
Rise in the heart, and gather to the eyes,
In looking on the happy Autumn-fields,
And thinking of the days that are no more.
Fresh as the first beam glittering on a sail,
That brings our friends up from the underworld,
Sad as the last which reddens over one
That sinks with all we love below the verge;
So sad, so fresh, the days that are no more.
Ah, sad and strange as in dark summer dawns
The earliest pipe of half-awakened birds
To dying ears, when unto dying eyes
The casement slowly grows a glimmering square;
So sad, so strange, the days that are no more.
Dear as remembered kisses after death,
And sweet as those by hopeless fancy feigned
On lips that are for others; deep as love,
Deep as first love, and wild with all regret;
O Death in Life, the days that are no more.
(Lord Alfred Tennyson)
And secondly, what I feel is my theme for this coming year, hope:
Hope
Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune–without the words,
And never stops at all,
And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.
I’ve heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.
(Emily Dickinson)
I love you forever, Mommy.
Sarah
Jul
22
Posted under
Friends,
Life,
Longings,
Money,
Ranting,
Uncategorized,
Women by Sarah
1. Your back gets patchily tanned and/or burned.
2. There is a distinct lack of motivation to wash the dishes.
3. Nudity can happen frequently at home.
4. Solitude aplenty. Solitude in abundance. Solitude to the extreme!
5. 10 AM seems bright and early.
6. Going alone to the beach is unavoidable.
7. Clothes, magazines, shopping bags, wine bottles, bags of chips, iPod cables, newspapers, mail, and water bottles on the floor in every room is just normal.
8. No one reminds you when you’re road-raging about that tailgater that you just committed the same offense on the way home yesterday.
9. You can drink water, wine, OJ, and coffee every day for a month without running out of clean glasses (at least, I can).
10. Never mind the old adage that you should take off one piece of jewellery before you leave the house; in my case, I have some I can’t put on before I meet up with other people.
11. The things you have in common with your girlfriends (now married with children) grow less and less. And less (something just happened as I wrote this that really drove the point home).
12. Stigmas about Old Maidendom get closer to home, whether in your eyes or others’.
13. Wanting to go out means you either a) scrape together the nerve to go by yourself (not likely); b) wait until that one single friend you have is available on a Saturday night; or c) play the anti-social card. Again.
14. Items of clothing with buttons up the back are, sadly, not for you.
15. You’re the first person people think of when someone asks them for a pet-sitter or house-sitter.
16. Without a man, you really have no idea how to care for your car and just hope nothing happens.
17. No one helps you dig your way out of your driveway in winter.
18. You can only have Housewarming parties so many times. Besides that, what can a single girl register for to get stuff like engaged and expecting girls do?
19. Fashion means more to you.
20. The baby behaviour, baby stuff, baby growth, baby names, and baby care references get old when you’re the only one without a baby.
21. Master of the fake smile you are.
22. You fear the cat-lady reference yet admit to being a candle-lady.
23. Eating in is a novelty.
24. Cooking for one isn’t. You begin to long for NYC, where everything can be delivered. Or, perhaps, to hire someone just to have someone else to cook for.
25. Plant-and-candle lady?
26. Things stay where you put them. Ordinarily.
27. You flip-flop between wanting to nest and wishing you’d never stopped to roost.
28. No one cares what time you come in at, and no one cares what time you come in at.
29. Only you face the consequences for too much shopping.
30. There’s no one to blame for anything else, either.
May
02
Posted under
Uncategorized by Sarah
I just washed 58 glasses, plus 3 shot glasses, plus one that I broke, and I still have 12 in the cupboard!
Soon, soon, I will have a party here. Meanwhile, it’s obviously imperative that I find some sort of cabinet to put this excess of glassware in until needed!
Dec
11
Posted under
Uncategorized by Sarah
Follow us on over to blog.atransparentlife.com, where a new blog design is in the making… yay!
