(Oops) I did it again

Posted under Jimi, Life, Love by Sarah

For those who are on the forefront of Facebook gossip, here is my statement. For those that aren’t, you (hopefully) heard it here first.

Written Friday, August 24th, The Day It Happened.

I did it again. If there were a how-to book on doing relationships poorly, I’d be the face on the cover. That’s six now. Serious boyfriends. Six serious boyfriends. Mostly all dumped by me. How is it that there are those who have one boyfriend, they’re cute, everyone thinks they’re perfect, they date for a handful of years, they get married, and life rocks? Who trains these people? Why haven’t I been recruited? There are those (okay, they were my uncles) who have said I should have guys knocking down my door, but I’m pretty sure they meant from the outside in, not the inside out.

Alright. Done rambling. It’s true. Jimi and I are no longer Jimi and I. And I was so proud of me for making it eight months and supposedly still going strong. I’m not sure where the line technically lies, but we just may have set a record at around nine months!

No, I’m not proud. Yes, this is a fresh wound and I will cry if I don’t keep my brain occupied. We both cried today. We talked and were silent, laughed (amazingly enough), tolerated hours of awkwardness, and we cried. Together, we cried in disbelief. Jimi cried because he had “put too many eggs in my basket”. I cried because I had let him.

The breaking point, ladies and gentlemen? I still don’t find him attractive! Seems incredibly shallow. We’ve had so much fun together. We appreciate similar books, music, and even fashion. We agree on many points of society and faith. We were able to learn from each other in many areas. Jimi demonstrated an ability to love me in spite of my insecurities, my bossiness, and my faults. He never once blamed me or got angry with me. He was patient when I was annoyed. I could go on. I thought all of this stuff would outweigh the looks issue. Wouldn’t you? I read a book recently in which one of the main characters was described by his wife as “so ugly, he’s cute”. I thought if she could do it…

(Whoops I paused and my nose started to run again. Today I’m more thankful than ever that K stocks nose-friendly Kleenex.)

I can’t. Apparently it’s important to me to be able to just look at my husband and go, “Dang I want to kiss him!!” I thought I could stuff it (the not-attracted bit). I thought I’d get over it. I thought his face would grow on me. It’s one of the few things that didn’t.

Perhaps I didn’t give it enough time. Perhaps there was too much distance between us. Perhaps we were meant to be good friends?

I wish you all hadn’t known about Jimi. I wish I didn’t have to tell you there has come an end. I wish Facebook and MySpace didn’t have relationship statuses to show people. Because, of course, it’s very difficult to admit that something didn’t go the way you’d planned and hoped, and that your future is once more entirely uncertain. It’s even more difficult if you’ve committed to a transparent life.

But there it is, ladies and gentlemen of the internet: I am, once again, unexpectedly single.

Hairspray, a Weasel, and me

Posted under Ranting, Society by Sarah

Recently, K and I went to see the musical movie Hairspray at our local theatre. It’s been so long since the two of us went out, and we need to take advantage of every opportunity we get, so we were really excited for this movie. We decided to go at the last minute, which meant we were throwing on lip gloss and deodorant in the car on the way into town. K had to pick something up on the other side of town, so she dropped me off at “the show” so I could buy us tickets and save us seats. Little did I know I had chosen poorly.

The show was starting when K arrived, then I went to get us some chocolate bars. When I got back, we had to whisper a little bit to decide who got which chocolate bar, and if the seats were okay, and if K had any water to wash down the chocolate, etc.

Such minimal and necessary discussion before the movie had even gained momentum was apparently abominable to the lady in front of us. Not one minute into the movie and without giving us a chance to get settled, she turned around to give us a big, loud, and rude, “SSSHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!”

Taken aback at her testiness, we giggled, and tried our best to do it quietly. However, apparently she had a zero tolerance rule, because she gathered up her purse and left.

We looked at each other, amazed that someone could seriously be so uptight in a big room chock full of people out for a social evening!

K was so surprised that the movie was a musical and the opening scenes were of a, er, bigger girl, dressed in 50’s clothing, dancing through her city, and enthusiastically singing, “Good Morning, Baltimore!” that she (K) was shaking in near-silent laughter. I, however, had a funny feeling… that Weasel Wench hadn’t in fact left the theatre, and that any moment she’d be back with another person in tow.

Sure enough, seconds later, W. W. reappeared. As she haughtily took her seat in the dark room, the burly manager materialized at my side. He leaned over and said in a voice loud enough for half the theatre to hear, “Ladies, we’ve had a complaint that you’re making too much noise.”

I sort of cynically laughed in response and said, “I’m sorry, but we were hardly making any noise at all!” He told us to keep it down anyway and walked away.

I was in disgusted, embarrassed shock. As if! Did this woman not have children? Had she never enjoyed herself with her friends at a movie or elsewhere? Was she not aware that this was a social outing? She was obviously jumping to conclusions about us, too. I’m an uber-responsible person that can’t handle upsetting people! How dare she assume that I was a trouble-maker? And K is a great mother that keeps her 3 sons in a respectful line… she’s a TON of fun, but she’s aware of proper public protocol. Geez!!!

Weasel Wench definitely dampened the movie experience for me for a while. I wanted to move out of her range of hearing, but the theatre was pretty packed.

K and I tried our darndest to keep quiet, but the movie was absolutely hilarious (picture John Travolta as a big, self-conscious, frumpy laundrywoman with a funny accent, married to Christopher Walken!!), and it was difficult not to laugh out loud the whole time. We only allowed ourselves to giggle as loud as those around us were (John Travolta as a huge, self-conscious woman dressed in pink sequins and dancing around).

After writing all of this and experiencing none of the emotions I felt that night, it all seems kind of anticlimactic, but I was outraged that we had been treated unjustly by the clueless and anal Miss W.W. I hope someone shows her such a good time that she won’t ever be able to keep quiet again in her whole shrinking lifespan.

About to Be…

Posted under Life, Money, Sasha the Sunfire by Sarah

… the owner of a gold 2000 Pontiac Sunfire, whom I’ve dubbed Sasha.

As soon as we can figure out financing and all that jazz.

Finding the car was the easy part. Financing it is a whole other story. According to my bank, the car is only worth $3600, so that’s all they can lend me. I owe about $5500 after making a down payment of $1000. Nowhere will you find a decent 2000 car with just over 100 000 kilometres for less than $5500 plus tax and fees and safetying and all that jazz! The bank is dreaming.

So. I’m looking into other methods. Welcome, me, to GrownUpVille… not sure how happy I am to be here, but having wheels will make it all worthwhile… I’m pretty sure.

Floundering in GrownUpVille

Posted under Jimi, Life, Money. GrownUpVille by Sarah

I don’t have much time to write this, but I AM online, so I really should take the opportunity to write.

I found out last week that the plates expire on the vehicle I’ve been driving, which belongs to my mom, and I don’t really want to keep driving the beastly red van if I don’t have to. The dilemma begins when you throw in the fact that I’m planning to head to Indianapolis sometime next month.

Jimi has his very savvy father, L, to help him with these kinds of decisions. Together, they’re a team I wouldn’t want to get in the way of when they’re on a mission. Here, in GodRock, I don’t have that kind of direct ally in the word of everything grown-up and official and financial. I’ve just been floating along somehow, though most people my age have had loans and debt for years ’cause university tends to do that to you.

I need wheels. But do I get one here or wait till the US? What will taking a car over the border entail? Insurance? What do I get if I renew the plates on the van for another month? Do I put up with more gas-sucking??

With help, I found a good deal today on a mechanically sound 2000 Sunfire. I like it. I think it’s a good decision.

Can I get a loan? Should I get a line of credit?? Or the biggie: Who is brave enough to co-sign for me? Is it wise to take on a car payment when I don’t know what my income will be this fall? Or do I trust all that to the Big Man Upstairs?

Like I said, I feel like I’m floundering. Got some solid wisdom or the guts to co-sign?! Let me know!