People, this generic Blogger layout is just not doing it for me anymore, but I have no clue how to get something personalized, or how to write the html myself.
So this is my official, helpless, pathetic, desperate cry for help: “HELP!!!“
If you can, I’d be much obliged.
I have little time to write today because I’m in Responsibility Hyper-Drive.
My mom’s health has taken a turn for the, uh, more serious, so as not to say “worse”, and she’s currently unable to take care of many of the everyday things of her life. That leaves me, a single, unsettled 26-year-old doing what no one in my station in life should have to do: paying Mom’s bills, rearranging lawyer’s appointments, becoming the primary contact for my younger siblings, etc.
If you thought I was mature and strong before this, look out! I will be able to take on pretty much anything, even perhaps a stray satellite falling to earth at thousands of miles per hour, aimed somewhere between your house and mine. I’ll be able to talk about finances and invalid care and insurance and parenting with the experts, having substantial experience already.
Wow I can’t even think clearly enough to be as witty as I’d like to be in this post, so I’ll sign off. But not before I tell you how adorable I look in my new fake glasses from Claire’s, with my hair straightened with my new fancy HotTools flat iron!
Right now, sitting in a big old house where I live with friends who are away, on an overcast day in the middle of the country, just over one week after a breakup and a couple of weeks of out-of-the-ordinary events, without food or coffee in my belly, and desperate for a haircut, it seemed like a great moment to tell the world that I find solace in this blog. When I get the chance to string words together here, I feel like I’ve come home.
Many of my readers have commented that they enjoy my writing style and some have suggested that I write a column for a magazine or newspaper. I shouldn’t have to tell you that I love getting feedback like that: YES!! Mission accomplished! And I would LOVE writing a column. If you have a lead on any such opportunities, please pass them on!
More and more I think that writing is one of the things I was born to do. I can write much better than I can speak. I submit the fact that I don’t have formal training, and I don’t know the specific rules of journalism, but I was born in the era of blogging, when even the formal media is being affected by what private individuals are writing.
I also often get feedback expressing surprise about how transparent I am on this site, but I have to confess that I wish I felt free to be more unreserved. There are topics I’d like to tap into, stuff I’d like to air, but I admit fear is holding me back. I know that my mother and my siblings and my best friends and ex-boyfriends and other relatives and former leaders and coworkers and people that respect me are reading this blog, and I’m afraid of a) shocking them, b) losing their respect, or c) making them think I’ve lost faith.
Dooce is one of my blogging heroes. She is ballsy, witty, and has an uncanny ability to twist any seemingly ordinary situation into something hilarious. Her way with adjectives and comparisons is awe-inspiring, though inevitably some of you would find her offensive. This woman’s possibly uber-transparent blog got her fired, but several years later, she gets paid to blog! Both her and her husband are now able to live off of the ads posted on her site.
Sure, it would be cool to get paid to blog, but my point is that I’d like to become more transparent about topics which may be uncomfortable to my peeps. I might go into stuff you didn’t want to know about me, or stuff which might cause you to lose respect somehow. I apologize in advance if I ever offend anyone. It is never my goal to offend, but always my goal to boldly be real about my particular human experience, and I’m honestly kind of sick of glazing over some of the more “juicy” stuff.
Do I have the nerve? I’m not sure, but I’m gonna follow my instincts step by step and we’ll find out together!
Meanwhile, have I mentioned that I love writing this blog and I love that you’re reading it right now? Bring over some friends and let’s get this party started!
Sasha the Sunfire and I, that is. We didn’t happen. We came pretty close to a hopeful partnership of several years, but the bank apparently didn’t want it to happen (they wouldn’t lend me the full amount), and the owner of the car dealership actually advised me against taking his offered loan which would make up the difference, stating what was becoming evident: I couldn’t afford two car payments per month!
So, I let Sasha go, hopefully to another loving owner. And the search, which is no longer desperate, continues. Some are mistakenly thinking that I am only in the market for a Sunfire. Not so, folks. I just want an affordable, reliable, non-gas-guzzling car that I won’t be embarrassed to be seen in! I’d like it to have functioning AC and heat, a radio and a CD player. Absolutely not too much to ask, wouldn’t you agree?
Perhaps someday soon, I’ll ditch The Beast (sorry, Mom) for a car all my own. Exciting and scary all at the same time!
